I think it's apt that since it's the end of the year, I make this blog a little more personal and reflect on some of the highs and lows of 2011. It's been hectic to say the least, a lot of good things happened but with every year there were some real lows.
Getting Into University
One of the major and most obvious changes has been getting into university and moving away from home. I'm only down the road which I prefer because it means I can hope on a train for not much more than a tenner and be home. The independence has felt quite natural to me, and the major adjustment has been coming home and having to answer to somebody. Me and my Mum have been at logger heads quite a few times, but I think we're getting there.
The academic side has been interesting, I'm happy with the grades I'm getting but as I always, I feel like I could be doing more. However, a new year is approaching an thus a new attitude. I feel more motivated to work because I earnt my right to be here, and I'm at well respected university - I won't screw it up.
So many people have entered my life this year - being eighteen has definitely improved my social life. It's not just university friends, but people in Sheffield. I didn't have nearly as many people in my life last year, and I felt quite lonely at times. I'm eager to see who else will enter my life in 2012 and what impact they'll have on my life I hope it's a positive one.
Getting old people out of my life
As I entered 2011, there were some people who were in my life who didn't deserve to be there. Sometimes you keep people in your life because you hope things will change, but it gets to a point where someone can only hurt you so much that even if you forgive them, the memories of how much they hurt you will always remain. In 2011 I finally managed to get those people out of my life, I'm happier and I know now that I will never allow myself to be treated that way again.
New Found Confidence
I think I've definitely come out of my shell this year. Changing my appearance somewhat has helped, and alcohol. I feel much more sure of myself and whilst I'm unsure of what I want in life, I feel like I'm getting there.
A lack of intimacy
Perhaps the only area of my life that has been the cause of any pain has been my romantic life. I spent a lot of time being hurt over the way I'd been treated previously, which consequently made me paranoid and suspicious of any other male who entered my life. In turn I then managed to treat someone else badly not because I'm malicious, but because I'd become confused and paranoid - I feel guilty and would like to apologise to them at some point in the future if the oppurtunity arises. I hope 2012 is a little kinder on my romantic life, and whilst I'm not entirely sure what I'm after - I hope I find it next year.
Febuary 2011 :)